I want to move from TX back to NJ to be nearer to my parents since i want to seperate from my hubby.Problem was when i got into fight with my hubby i told him if he did not improve his behaviour i would file for divorce. He threatened to not give me a divorce and said he would rather kill me than let me take his daughter away from him. Can he leagally prevent me from taking her with me?i lied to get him to calm down.My problem with my husband is our lack of communication he never listens to what i have to say or what my opion on anything is.I am almost never involved in any decision making he does. He went out and bought a sports car mustang without even consulting me!He is a Beta tester who gets paid to play video games and on the side sells things online .Recently he has become verbally abusive calling me an idiot who went to college and works for a public relations firm saying a monkey could do the same.
More importantly his **** habit has crossed the line he makes no effort to conceal it from our daughter who was in the room playing!I found out because she asked me what her daddy was doing.He does not seem to care about anything so long as he can work online all day, watch his porn, eat and sleep.Nothing else seems to matter to him outside this world.We had *** a total of 6 times last year and nothing i did to get his attention works?I am so fed up!
December 21st, 2009 at 1:08 am
You need to consult a lawyer. You need to assess your assets. He may be able to bar you from taking her out of state.
Seek legal and psych counsel and start looking for similar positions in your target state. Document what is going on now my sending him emails and saving the conversations. Recap the stuff in the past and ask him how he is going to change in the future.
December 23rd, 2009 at 6:55 am
Go now, without telling ur husband. You may need to take legal steps as well. You and your daughter’s safety are the most important!
Be careful! Plan well. Good luck hon
December 24th, 2009 at 9:47 pm
if u truly want to move out of state….say nothing to hubby and make him think all is well….then just sneak away…unfortunately u will have to leave most of your things behind
Once u file for divorce in the state u reside,,,it is most difficult to move out of state with the child w/o his written approval….
December 26th, 2009 at 3:33 am
“he would rather kill me than let me take his daughter away from him” If that is true, you should leave him ASAP and contact the police on the way out. If you could video tape him saying this to you, that would be perfect. Get out anyway you can.
December 26th, 2009 at 8:11 am
Go to the police now!. Any loser that says he will kill if you leave is not worth spending 2 seconds with run and fast. No woman or man for that matter has to put with abuse. Leave with your child and find someone who will take care of you. Please be careful.
December 26th, 2009 at 9:58 pm
I don’t blame you for wanting to divorce him but you CANNOT take his child out of state or even move anywhere that is too far for him to drive.
December 29th, 2009 at 1:37 am
Well i don’t think that he can stop you from taking your daughter. He can not sign the divorce papers but i think you can petition that or something. I don’t know. But most courts are going to send the child with the mother.
If you are wanting to try to work things out, first he needs to show you some respect because at this point there is no respect for you which is probably why his communication skills are so weak because he feels that he doesn’t have to consult you.
December 31st, 2009 at 6:06 am
You need to talk to a lawyer. You definitely need to get yourself and your daughter out of there ASAP. I don’t believe you can just up and leave with your daughter…she is his daughter too and he has rights. I would call a lawyer immediately.
January 2nd, 2010 at 6:04 am
Call your local bar association and tell them you need to consult a family law attorney. They can set up a thirty minute consultation for a small fee. Do that before you take your daughter across state lines, it wil be well worth it.
January 3rd, 2010 at 5:35 am
Good Lord girl! you are in a VERY bad situation. You need to leave him right now! The longer you stay the more abusive he will get. Watching or looking at **** on a web site in front of your daughter is considered child abuse! She could get taken away from you BOTH for that, because you knew it was happening! Lack of communication is NOT your problem, it’s lack of respect from your husband! If you’re scared of him, you can have a judge put a restraining order on him, because he verbally threatened your life, and your daughters. Have that done, then move away. LIKE YESTERDAY!!!!!!
January 3rd, 2010 at 9:23 pm
You can not walk away and take the daughter with you, if you ever did that , then you may not be able to get the custody in case of a divorce. Consult a lawyer immediately , and tell him everything about him. do not take the law in your hands.
January 3rd, 2010 at 11:33 pm
Well technically I don’t think it would be illegal but you should probablly go to the police station and ask before you decide to bail. It’s both of your’s child and there’s not a joint-custody thing so neither one of you have any more control than the other. Unless one of you fight for custody you could technically go away for months and say it was a vacation then file for divorce and try to get custody then.. Normally I would say that you don’t have the right to take your daughter away but you make your husband sound like a sleeze and I say go for it! Definately don’t mention anything to him about it and while you’re getting your things out you might want to have a police officer escort you.
January 6th, 2010 at 5:34 pm
Get to an attorney FAST.. divorce is in your future. Start documenting “everything”.. every cruel word he says to you.. How much time he spends watching ****.. the *** thing alone would constitute “mental cruelty” in most states…
You are in the drivers seat on this one unless you leave and run away… you could loose the custody of your child if he divorces you while you are in NJ. See your marital residence is in TX.
Hope this helps
GOOD LUCK BE WITH YOU
January 9th, 2010 at 6:52 am
Well you have one of two things to do here–Tell him strait up your marriage is on the brink of destruction and you need to seek professional help-(that way a third party can possibly get thru to him about your sadness in his behavior) or second just plan a trip to visit your parents (that’s what you tell him) and then just don’t come back–you can in the mean time start shipping some of your most prized possessions to them and even clothes just not stuff he will notice missing–prior to leaving file for a legal separation and if you have to get a restraining order–you will need to talk to the judge to explain that he has threatened your life if you leave–and that he is allowing your daughter to be present while he watches porn—Just you will have to be very careful while you are planning this if you really think he is capable of harming you—
God Bless you on a road unknown–
January 9th, 2010 at 6:57 am
No respect! Have you gone to marriage counseling?
January 9th, 2010 at 10:17 am
If you take your daughter away especially to another state without telling your husband he can press kidnapping charges on you and you will probably never get custody of your daughter. You need to contact the police and tell them that he threatened you and have them tell you what actions you need to take about getting your divorce.
January 9th, 2010 at 5:52 pm
You don’t NEED his permission to divorce him. Yes, you can take your daughter with you, although he would be entitled to see her for visitation and you would likley have to pay and escort her one way to visit him with him paying the other way to get her back to you. You definitely need to see a lawyer for a free consultation as to how and in what order to accomplish your goals.
January 10th, 2010 at 11:40 pm
LOL….tests video games? Buys a ‘Stang without telling you? Mid-life crisis or a jerk? Both it seems.
Um….you may want to hightail it to Joisey with the kid and file for a divorce. Might want a restraining order post-haste as well. The threatening remark is enough to secure one. “Course he says this because child support will rear it’s ugly head….I’m sure it isn’t because he plans to raise the kid in a parental and loving fashion.
So…you’re not an idiot for your college and job….just an idiot if you decide to hang around in this relationship.
besides…you picked a fine time to head home…it’s getting damn cold this neck of the woods now.
January 13th, 2010 at 3:43 pm
The state of Texas will not allow you once you are divorced to move with your child back to NJ.
January 15th, 2010 at 11:32 am
You take that child out of state and you are going to have one heck of a time trying to get custody! CONSULT AN ATTORNEY NOW!